For Muslims, Ramadan is a month of fasting from daybreak to nightfall whereas spiritually recharging. Fasting for lengthy hours — whereas sustaining good habits — generally is a daunting time for a lot of mothers. Think about babysitting, working errands, and getting ready meals on an empty abdomen.
After I was rising up, my mother began making Ramadan staples like potato samosas, hen and vegetable spring rolls, and floor beef pies within the weeks main as much as Ramadan. An hour earlier than iftar, the after-sunset meal, she began frying these samosas and spring rolls.
Our household iftar unfold consisted of a wide range of different fried and baked objects, plus an compulsory curry for my dad. My mom ready every meal whereas taking time for prayer and different types of worship. My father returned from work simply earlier than iftar, which meant my mom was additionally answerable for dropping off and choosing up me and my siblings from faculty. Too usually iftar would sneak up surprisingly shortly and my mother would head again to the kitchen whereas on the similar time reminding us to do our homework.
The psychological and emotional toll that Ramadan takes on moms is all too usually dismissed. Ramadan is the holiest and most vital month of the Islamic calendar, however worship and spiritual duties are all however swept underneath the rug by moms.
Girls are anticipated to regulate their schedules in order that they don’t neglect their family chores whereas fulfilling Ramadan traditions and fasting. They need to be certain that everybody eats Suhoor (the pre-dawn meal that marks the start of Lent) and Iftar meals. Moms work tirelessly within the kitchens for iftar events, and it’s all the time moms who put together everybody in the home for taraweeh, the nightly prayers of Ramadan.
4 years in the past I skilled my first Ramadan as a mom. As excited as I used to be to take pleasure in scrumptious Iftar meals with household and associates and adore at odd night time hours, I used to be hit with the tough actuality that this time I’d be experiencing all of it with a three-month-old son.
All I can say is that the wrestle is actual.
I felt depressed and responsible as a result of Ramadan did not appear as non secular because it used to. It was probably the most difficult Ramadan of my life to date. At night time I used to be too drained to worship. Concern that my child may get up at any second compelled me to sleep whereas he did, and so I misplaced helpful time throughout my day that I’d in any other case commit to worship. At Suhoor, I used to be too drained to organize a filling meal, so I nibbled on what was within the fridge. I used to be breastfeeding on the time and fasting was taking a toll on my sustenance.
Ramadan did not really feel proper.
I used to be unhappy that I’d not have the ability to reap the rewards of this blissful month and annoyed with my time administration. I could not complain to anybody as a result of I did not wish to seem uncomposed. After I attended iftar events, I noticed how clear the homes have been and the way intricately the tables have been stuffed with fried samosas, intricate sandwiches, fruit platters, variations on dip wings and rice pilafs.
These moms have been impeccable in observing Ramadan, why could not I?
Lastly, I known as my mom and informed her that my hectic schedule made me too exhausted to remain up at night time and pray. She listened to me after which gave me recommendation that has made each Ramadan simpler ever since. “Any wrestle or hardship that you just expertise as a mom throughout the month of Ramadan counts as worship,” she stated. “In the event you really feel drained and torpid after caring for the infant all day after which nonetheless discover the power to someway put together an iftar meal, that is a part of your adoration and it’s best to by no means assume for a second that God doesn’t acknowledge your efforts or struggles.” She assured me that if I might juggle motherhood whereas fasting, I’d be rewarded.
Whereas I discovered solace in my mom’s phrases, I now notice that the wrestle to juggle motherhood this month is an extension of a few of our tradition’s dominant, patriarchal practices. Why is the non secular significance of Ramadan for moms on the expense of psychological well being?
Many Muslim moms really feel that their non secular well-being, each inside and out of doors of our non secular group, is secondary to their non secular development. We’re conditioned to consider that burnout and exhaustion throughout Ramadan are “regular” and even an expression of devotion. However nobody ever pulls again the curtain to see the value we pay.
Ramadan is about self-improvement and strengthening our relationship with God. However all of this stuff can solely be efficiently achieved if Muslim moms obtain the assist they should fulfill their follow. Fairly than sacrificing sanity for Ramadan, it is time we realized that mothers must really feel snug whereas fasting.
Being surrounded by a group of Muslim moms who can share their experiences brazenly and transparently makes it much less intimidating. Most significantly, a satisfying Ramadan begins with the belief that though the struggles appear numerous, the rewards might be numerous.
Editor-in-Chief at Muslim Lady
Zainab is a Muslim-American author and entrepreneur. She is the editor-in-chief of Muslim Lady. When she’s not working, she loves exploring cafes, studying poetry and planning her subsequent trip.
